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Saturday, April 22, 2017

Being dragged forward

It's been three years since I last updated here. Wish I could go back to the days when:

1. I could freely express what's on my mind and what I've been through, without fear of losing anything.
2. I could finish everything on the plate without getting severe nausea afterwards.
3. I could wear normal S-sized clothes without being told I'm too skinny and it doesn't look good on me.
4. I could go through the first few days of my period without screwing up my face in pain or going through emotional turmoil.
5. I could actually enjoy a peaceful, productive working day without having to spend most of the day checking/solving issues which were not caused by me, or adding some extra (free) stuff for the client. Then there goes another day without any work progress and the same client is complaining about how slow I am with her other project.
6. My phobia of the phone ringing was not yet as strong as it is now.
7. I could relax in peace without being disturbed by my thoughts.
8. I was actually willing to take the initiative to make small talk or act friendly.
9. Stress only came from assignments.
10. I didn't have to conceal my emotions.

Growing up isn't what I thought it would be like. It's not.. nice. At all.
I didn't believe it at first when they said this year would be a bad year for the people born in the year of the rooster, but I cannot deny that things have been getting a bit overwhelming lately.
The worst thing of keeping everything in is that they burst out some day, and they don't stop flowing out until you're totally drained of energy.

Today is actually a very calm and peaceful day, and I'm on my period, and I have nothing to do, which is why I'm updating my blog all of a sudden.

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