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Saturday, June 25, 2011

Me and my Emo.

Hi I'm blogging again and it's all because of my freaking period.
Make me one whole week so emo, and I dunno why somemore coz it only came this morning. Actually it should have come earlier (not sure of the exact date), but dunno why it got delayed on the way.. == however the hormones still managed to trigger my emotional nerves very punctually...trigger until now... =.=

Haiz... This week... I cry every time I'm alone in my room...And is cry until quite violent de....

Yesterday something happened that made me look down upon myself and other things...when I reached my room I terus cry like I'm alone at home like that...like when I was a kid and got beaten by Mummy ==... like REALLY REEAAALLLY LOUD........ And cried for a long long long time...until want to vomit de that type.... Then all of a sudden there was a continuous kok-kok-kok-kok-kok-kok-kok, kok-kok-kok-kok-kok-kok-kok...on my door. My mouth and throat straightaway zipped up I can tell you. == So embarassing you know. Where got uni student cry like that de, in between a toddler and a wild animal.

Then I peeped out of the eye hole and saw a guard standing outside the door. @_@ Erm yeah actually I hadn't quite finished crying yet so I was so not going to open the door. Furthermore, and most importantly, I had this horrible feeling that my wild howling could be heard very very clearly from downstairs, and the guard had specially come all the way up to level 3 just to find out what the problem was about.

So I stood there, just gazing out of the eyehole at the guard, and after knocking for a long time, the guard went away......to the opposite side of the passage, and continued staring at my room from over there. @_@ After that only she went away.

I didn't dare to open my door until it was the time for my next lesson I can tell you.


And last night I really so freaking emo. I kept feeling so ashamed of myself...I felt like such an awful failure in everything I do. In fact I emo until I went out for a walk round our resident blocks at 5am in the morning. That time raining heavily somemore. I was shivering when I first went out and felt the cold wind (like really vibrating nonstop like that), but then after that when I walked out into the rain I didn't feel the cold anymore.

Some crazy students at that time dunno why still outside, and I guess they were appalled to see an emo figure walking alone aimlessly in the rain, so one of them shouted "excuse me!! excuse me!!" after me, but the emo person pretended not to hear.

After about 25 minutes I walked enough already and went back to my room, not daring to look at the guard (even though she was a different one but still it's quite shocking to see the sight of me).

Dunno why my antibodies so strong one I didn't even catch a cold leh. lol. But on the downside, maybe the rain and the cold wind had somehow triggered my hormones again and my period came this morning SOBSOBSOB.

Then today I emo again and cried again but took care to keep my voice down.

Nah. The end of a very emo post.

P/s: To think that I used to blog twice or thrice or even quadrice(???) in a day!!! And now not more than 3 times a month. walao eh. Facebook replaces all. =.=|| Coz even though there is less privacy, there is more concern and care over there, plus most importantly it loads so fast compared to blogger. So. Like that la. This one I blog here coz I dun wan a periody status on my profile. :P Oh and I finally succeeded in connecting my speaker to my laptop. It "didn't work" before this, but only because I didn't turn up the volume, zzzzzzzzz.... Gtg wash my clothes, babye.

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