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Friday, October 22, 2010

People who are younger than me...

I used to hate them when I was a kid. Well, not exactly hate la. Or maybe it was...whatever la.=.=
Anyway, I didn't like other kids who were younger than me, and especially detested them if they happened to be cute, and even more if my mother or sisters said that they were cute.
You see, I was the youngest child in my family, so secara tidak langsung I got the 念头 that the youngest is the cutest, and I WANTED to BE the cutest. WEI IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL OK ==
Also, I was very, very easily jealous, it's in my nature...in fact I am even so now. And I was always afraid that my mother would have another baby, coz that would mean that it would take my place as the youngest.
Erm anyway, that's the reason why I'm always awkward around kids, up to now. Well actually I'm awkward around almost anybody, including my family. =.=

When I grew older, age was very important to me. People one year (and above) older than me were considered as almost grownups, and people one year (and below) me were considered as small small kids. I was still used to being the youngest, partly because I was born in December. [and btw there's one very humiliating thing that happened in kindergarten~~~~I actually asked my own classmate at recess time "How old are you?" she said "I'm 6." I happily replied " I'm 5 and a half."~~~=.= SO BEH PAISEH LO THAT TIME!!! ok it's nothing to do with this paragraph, I'm talking about when I was in primary school.]

Then, as I grew older still, I realized that people around me DIDN'T seem to care about their ages...whether one year or three years. I dunno why, they seemed to categorize themselves as SAME AGE...

And I also realized that were MUCH MUCH MORE MATURE than me, no matter how old they were. =.=

And dunno why so weird 1, when I was in Form One, the people in Form Two, and three and four and five and six seemed SO BIG and GROWNUP to me...but as I went up from one form to another, I realized that I wasn't half as grownup as those people seemed to be. And when I looked at people in lower forms, I felt that they were just around the same age as me, they seemed so mature...and they mixed with the "grownups" like they were the same age too.

Up till now, I still, in my heart, regard the Form 6 students as "MUCH MUCH OLDER THAN ME"...I really don't know why!

Erm...actually I wanted to come to a point, but I've forgotten what that was!!!! I really didn't write this post out of wuliao-ness leh...but I've forgotten what I wanted to say. T_T Well, I'll leave that until I remember. :(

But what I wanted to say is, it doesn't matter how clever/lihai/pretty/sociable/helpful people are who are older than me, but it does matter if they're younger...I really feel the differences in our ages, whether it's one day, one month or one year...

I can't help it, and I'm going to bathe now byebye

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